Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Wedding Saga Part V

Saturday, June 24th, evening

Doc and I indeed made the drive from the hotel to Green Gables faster than anyone at the Jennerstown Speedway could have managed. By the time we ran upstairs to the Bridal Room, Cats and Laurali were ready for me to start throwing things at them to press and nonesuch. Unfortunately, it was hot and humid in the room, so we’re all trying to steamer. I was fine with the photographer coming in once I had my “foundation garment” on, especially considering it more closely resembled a bulletproof vest than a sexy bra, but my mother guarded the door as we fussed.

Grampa was allowed in once the skirt was pressed and on me and as I was being strapped into my corset top. With him was a pair of diamond earrings and a matching brooch on a pearl necklace. These were originally my Gram’s. I was told the earrings were mine to keep but the brooch was going back with him until I had a house with a burglar alarm, t not sweat despite thehus giving me the Something Old and Something Borrowed. Between them and Gram’s favorite orchids in my hair, I felt that the best of her spirit was with me even if she was too incapacitated to be.

Doc finished my hair and makeup like a pro. If she weren’t one of the best endocrinologists in Ohio, she’d be a killer soup-to-nuts wedding planner. Brad, the photographer, was eventually allowed in to take as many pictures as possible of me finishing my lipstick, adjusting the bodice of the corset so it wasn’t dangerously overflowing, and walking down the stairs without falling flat on my face. I stood in the lobby for a minute, letting the restaurant patrons stare at me, until Teresa forced me into the lobby of the reception room so she could bring Pros to me. I kept peeking around the corner. Omigod, he looked so gorgeous in that tux! We had a few minutes to just be silly, and then it was off to take a metric buttload of photos.

Brad decided that the first pictures were to be of me standing on a narrow stone footbridge in the middle of a small waterfall. I was NOT happy with this plan, as I am a klutz and was positive someone or something was going to get wet. He assured me that this was the best location possible and had his awesome assistant Cinnamon help me arrange myself in as comfortable a position as possible. Must admit, the photos turned out great, although Pros almost wound up falling in when it was his turn to join me on the footbridge. We then took another gazillion photos in the gardens around Green Gables, and I was starting to wonder if we’d ever bother to stop the photos and start the wedding. Thankfully, mercifully, Teresa called time and Brad warned us that he’d want more photos during cocktail hour. So much for a little alone time with my new husband and a cheese plate!

Pros and Wine Guy followed Cats to their places up front while my brother, with K's help, started to play the pre-processional waltz he had written. I stayed back in the reception hall with my family and Laurali, fairly antsy to start the ceremony. For some reason, I wound up singing the bridesmaid song from Ruddigore (my favorite G&S show) to calm my nerves. Laurali chimed in with me, and I’m told the back rows were cracking up listening to us. Finally, with one parent on each arm, we started to walk outside into the crowd.

Pros looked so gorgeous with that amazing smile on his face. Cats had borrowed her late father-in-law’s prayer shawl so she could look a little more rabbinical and less pastoral. The wedding march was exactly what I had asked my brother to compose and more. There was absolutely no rain in sight. This was going well!

According to Jewish tradition, Pros and I shared a cup of wine, said our basic “I Will” stuff, and then were told to have a seat. Anyone who didn’t know Cats was in for a treat, because she had decided to give one of her world-class sermons. To quote Cats’ blog on our wedding, “Now JH and her family are Jewish. Pros, her now-husband is not. He is a geologist.” HAH! She actually based her sermon on a rock she brought with her from Connecticut as a symbol of unity and cohesion. An entire row of geology grad students were highly amused and gave her much encouragement as she forged ahead with this analogy. We were finally allowed to stand up and recite our vows.

Then, the rings were exchanged. The only problem with the ring ceremony was that the humidity had caused my fingers to swell, making it very difficult to shove the damn thing onto my hand. I forced myself to not put it on myself and just shoved from my end while hoping it wouldn’t cut my knuckle like in the Billy Idol video. I really needed that second sip of wine after that! Suddenly, Cats finished talking, Pros and I had stomped on a wine glass (okay, it was a lightbulb, but his foot alone could have managed the real thing) and I was kissing my new husband while clinging to him in amazement.

We were married! We could live happily ever after! We… had to take more formal photos.

To be continued!