Quickie update

Pros and I are currently in the Outer Banks. It can be seen as me with a group of scientists or him with a group of gals. Either way, we're having a lovely time. The house is unbelievable, although the weather tempers the fun at the moment. Fortunately, Pros mixes a mean pitcher of drinks to make up for it.

Yes, I was so glad to get back to subbing, but I'm just as relieved to be away for a weekend. My second day back, I got to deal with a school fire set by one of the seventh graders. Next week, two room sweeps with a drug sniffing dog. This is junior high?

Oh yeah, and I apparently have to take yet another Praxis test before Ohio will transfer my license to teach. Sheesh!

Back to the Chalk Board!

As much as I adore Doc as a friend, it was an amazing relief that she has hired a new person to permanently work in the office. Originally I had planned to help out and answer phones while the new gal was learning the ropes, but I practically RAN out of the office the moment the employment offer was accepted. There were just too many personality conflicts with the others in the front office staff, and my pal the nurse was too busy taking blood samples to have my back. Nurse and I are going out and grousing soon, so at least we're still going to hang and pal around. Doc and I are having dinner next week, so that isn't a concern.

The best thing is that I'm teaching again!!!

About Mags

A large portion of my friends is abuzz about a disaster of a court battle ahead for a Subgenius gal known as Mary Magdalen, or Mags for short. In brief, her ex has found pictures of her and a judge who is willing to accept them as proof that she should lose, at least temporarily, custody of her son. She isn't even allowed to write him a note or receive a birthday card as communication between the two. The pictures? They were of her in a dress that left very little to the imagination and a mask that resembled a bull skull. She was attending a Subgenius event called XDay, specifically the Deity Ball where people were encouraged to dress as their favorite god, goddess or false icon.

A lot of reactions spring to mind. I don't like Mags. We just have never been friendly beyond a general hello, and this summer ended with a big argument with both of us badmouthing each other. However, this does not make her a bad mother. One of the few topics we were ever able to discuss was how well she handles the care and education of her son. He has been homeschooled in such a way that he has been well socialized. She has also taken great care to raise him away from situations such as XDay. From what I have seen, this is not being taken into account.

Mags is also, by far, not the only Subgenius with a child. In hindsight, she probably could have noted her ex's previous attempts to interfere with the custody arrangement and reacted by staying out of the spotlight. My friend, known as Armand Geddyn (yes, we are a group of punsters with our names), took great pains to curb his visibility when he was attempting to gain full custody of his own children, and he was successful. This is not the way Mags operates, but since she doesn't let these aspects of her life overlap, it shouldn't cost her the privilege of raising her son.

Why does this concern me? Because, although I have no children of my own, I work with them on a daily basis. I was also at the Deity Ball in that Marilyn Monroe getup I previously posted. If Mags were to lose custody of her child, it sets a horrible precedent for anyone who lives a counterculture lifestyle. Okay, my life is rarely counterculture these days. Pros and I just can't afford the upkeep! However, are pictures of ridiculous things I did ten years ago going to resurface when I apply for tenure as a full time teacher? What a chilling thought.

Shake me or stir me!

How to make a JacklynHyde

Ingredients: 1 part competetiveness 1 part brilliance 5 parts energy

Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of emotion

Username:http://www.go-quiz.com/cocktail/cocktail.php">Username:%20name="uname">

Confessions of a reality tv addict

Hello, my name is Jacklyn, and I'm a reality television addict.

It could be worse. I could watch any and all of these show. Oh, who am I kidding?

It started when I was a kid and the poison was the closely related genre of game shows. My grandmother and I would watch Tic-Tac-Dough and The Price is Right while playing Go Fish and War. It's probably fortunate that the addiction formed wasn't to poker after all the card games we played. Once I was a little older, the fascination of Dating Game and Newlywed Game caught my attention (I wondered why they didn't show Divorce Court right afterwards), but this just wasn't satisfying.

Then, The Real World hit the airwaves. I was hooked, wanting to befriend Julie and / or meet up with Andre. Thankfully, my attempt to join Season 3 of the show failed, but I happened to be a Neilson Ratings Family when it aired. You're welcome. Unfortunately, the shows never quite made it to the delicate combination of pathos and sensitivity that season had. Okay, I'm not counting anything Puck did with the sensitive side, but you get the idea. My interest waned.

Then, the Writer's Guild strike. It cost a cousin of mine a shot at writing for her own television show, but considering it was Fish Police, this isn't a big loss. However, this is when I was given such shows as The Bachelor (which made my own dating life look calm) The Mole (the only show since Real World that I wanted to be on, but it was cancelled stupidly) and Who Wants to Marry My Dad (which made me cringe that I was getting to the age of the contestants). Survivor took a little more time to grow on me due to my distaste for CBS in general, but has now pulled me in for the majority of the shows.

What am I addicted to now?

• The Bachelor is a must for Monday nights. For some reason, I love that show so much that when I wanted to drop a BIG hint that I wanted to marry Pros, I asked, "Will you accept this final rose?" It worked.
• Tuesdays are, at the moment, quiet. We usually watch reruns of Babylon 5 on DVD (something I highly recommend, even a decade after the original airing).
• Wednesdays occasionally have me checking out The Biggest Loser, but not so much until the full fledged season returns. However, I am living for Project Runway! Not as much fun as last season, but not all shows are lucky to have JayMcCarroll.
• Survivor on Thursdays. Enough said.

Feel free to make fun of my tastes, but also feel free to buy me a copy of The Mole on DVD.

New Arrival

We now have a new female guinea pig (or PEEG as Pros pronounces it). Washu's old friend Bijou passed away last April after a long, happy life, and Washu has been rather lonesome. Pandora has become a friend, but it isn't quite the same to a guinea pig. Pros is now downstairs helping the new little one settle in. We've just named her Violet because of the deep tint of her eyes. I'll post pics as I have them.

Migod, she's just the cutest little thing!

It got better!

The last couple of days have vastly improved my mood. Dad calmed down enough to apologize in time for me to open some lovely gifts that somehow safely arrived from Philly. Pros took me to a fabulous new eatery in town called Z Cucina (omigod, I'm still fantasizing about the appetizer). Work for Doc is a little less stressful while the sporatic subbing is downright hilarious, meaning I've stopped caring if the annoying kids hate me for getting them in trouble. This weekend is off in Somerset nailing down more wedding plans and spending time with Pros' dad and stepmom. Hope the hot tub is working!

Bad mood by osmosis

Everyone in the office was tense today, to the point where one of the gals started sobbing twice. Just called my father to let him know a package he sent me wasn't being delivered because it was incorrectly sent "signature required". He screamed at me that he hadn't made the mistake, then hung up on me. Now I'm the one who's crying.

Great way to spend my last day of my 33rd year, isn't it?

Lilith in Twilight

It's been a while since I've posted any of my creative writing. This poem is based on the Lilith of Midrash (Jewish folklore) and not my dear friend / fellow blogger Lilith von Fraumench. Brief explanation is that she was the first wife of Adam and fled from Eden when Adam tried to make her his sexual inferior. When she fled, her name changed from Lila (night) to Lilith (night demon). It is a story that has long fascinated me. Enjoy!

*******

I was the first.

Evening’s sweet breath raised me

Calling my name

Lila.

Night melted into dewy dawn

And you rose from the earth with me.

The breath sighed

Adam.

Two souls, one garden.

I didn’t ask to be in this garden,

Especially if you claim it all as yours.

You will not lie over me, reign over me.

We are of the same dust that would stain my back.

I am not flesh of your flesh, but life of my own

And when you return to dust

I will continue.

I will leave the garden you claim as yours

Dance with the evening star and lie in the waters.

You will join me in exile soon enough

Toting that pitiful piece you call wife.

I will not harm her, old friend,

Even when the evils of your Fall are blamed on me.

Adam,

You have robbed Woman of life’s sweetness.

She will never know the joy of rising from the dust,

But the fruits of her labor have bound her to a grave.

I will try to comfort her from my waters

Even if she returns my comfort with curse.

I curse the name of God and fly to the sea.

I was the first.

I continue.

But I never asked to be in this garden

And not even God and His angels can make me stay.

Change of fortune

For the time being, I'm cutting back my substitute work drastically. There's a combination of reasons. My friend The Doc found herself horribly shortstaffed on no notice, and she asked me to come in to help run the front desk. At first I was only willing to come in for a few days a week, but after the day I had subbing, I was happy to delete my schedule for as long as she is willing to keep me on staff. These kids, who have seen me in their classroom for months, suddenly became more insubordinate and downright rude than I've ever seen them. Let someone else put up with them for a while.

I'll also be working a few hours here and there for Pros' mom's little accounting company. She tends to only have part time employees, and I'm always happy to help out soon to be family, especially if she's willing to pay a little to help with the bills. Maybe we'll start to talk more once we have a common subject, like work. It couldn't hurt!

Family portrait

This picture is from my brother's April wedding. Gram and Mom are seated. In the back is Grampa, Dad, my brother the rocker and his amazing bride, Pros and me on the end. Mom and Dad have each lost well over 30 pounds each since this photo was taken, but you get the general idea of where I came from.

Bad Girl Lesson #1

From The Bad Girl's Guide to Getting Personal, a book I received from Lynx. One of the best prezzies this season!

Things to Do with Condoms

(Use bright-colored, non-lubricated condoms unless otherwise indicated, or if you're like me and must use non-latex as well)

• Pet galoshes
• Slip on each foot before showering at the gym or at any frat house
• Cut off the tip, snip out two armholes, and make into a mod raincoat for Barbie!
• Lunchbox snack bags for carrots, cookies, or fruit
• Tie to the stem of your wineglass at parties so no one steals your glass
• Anti-theft, disposable cell phone case
• Open package, unroll, and drape on seatbacks to reserve your spot in crowded theaters when making a popcorn run
• Sassy garter belt / stash bag for formal events
• Fill two with Jell-o and pack in your bra for a Cheap-O boob job (If you get lucky, do a quick bait and switch. If you don't, you've got a late-night snack for the ride home.)
• Vibrator storage / travel bag
• Fill with Kool-Aid or juice and freeze (Makes a cool and refreshing Penis Pop!)
• Unroll a lubricated condom over each hand to moisturize hands and cuticles while watching movies at home.
  

Final image for the year

Have a great, safe New Year!
Time to get FREAKY tonight!

Non-Binding Non-Resolutions

Resolutions are a silly thing to manage. Why does the pressure have to be on just in time for my birthday (January 24th, for those in a celebratory mood)? Here's a few things I've already started to do for myself and hope to continue into 2006.

1. Get to Curves at least two times a week, although three is the goal. Use that Carmen Electra DVD the rest of the time so Pros can also enjoy my exercise regiment. BTW, for those who are against Curves due to their stance against abortion rights, check out the individual center. The one I attend is an independent franchise that does not give to Operation Rescue. The fundraising they do goes towards breast cancer and heart disease research. It's also a great place to gossip.
2. Make appointments with a new dentist / OB-GYN / dermatologist. Obviously not the same doctor for all issues, but it's time to use the health insurance now that we have it. Time to take better care of my insides now that my outsides are starting to firm up!
3. Attempt to cook at least one dinner a week. Time to get over my kitchen phobia so Pros doesn't have to do all the cooking. Conversely, I won't have to do all the dishes. At the very least, there's that crock pot cookbook that might turn out some good stuff.
4. Keep all the stupid wedding crap in perspective. The relationship Pros and I have is more important than whether the flowers are perfect on this one day. People get married all the time (at this place, we had to go for the evening slot because there's two weddings a day there), so it isn't going to make or break society as we know it if it isn't perfect. Getting this through my father's head, on the other hand, isn't as easy...
5. Start the application process for my Master's program. That includes that stupid refingerprinting that seems to have been lost by the FBI.
   

Seasoned Greetings!

Okay, it's officially Soltice, which is the beginning of the holiday season, at least for my pagan friends. Enjoy the Santa Eddie and have a hilarious day!

Severe catching up to do!

1. My grandmother is doing surprisingly well in her new surroundings! She's getting much more stimulation with her activities than she was sitting in a chair all day with a Boston Terrier perched on her lap. She's even reading a little again and taking an interest in her old passion for flowers (she used to be an amazing florist, particularly with orchids). She'll never regain her ability to remember who her family is, but I'm happy enough that she's not on the brink of totally fading away for the time being.
2. Thanksgiving with Pros' father was a warm, lovely event. He lives with his new wife (more than ten years isn't so new, but you get the point) in an amazing place in Virginia. I don't remember the last time I was so relaxed, which says a lot about how much I'm looking forward to being part of this family.
3. Got to spend some time with Cats this past month! This made my year, since we live so far apart and see each other so rarely. She's been having the worst kind of pain watching her son suffer with development delays that may or may not have been caused by lead poisoning. I don't pray often these days, but for her Silent Prince and her Princess Kitten of a daughter, I do.
4. Teaching prospects for next year are looking rather thin. From what I have heard, the market is already saturated, and now Columbus City Schools are looking to lay off teachers and close schools. I'm heavily considering talking to a couple of school districts about whether they would sponsor me for an emergency certificate in Special Education if they would hire me full time. My father talked me out of this line of education before, but he doesn't live nearby and doesn't pay our bills. It's time to figure out how I'm going to help with my share of the work.
5. Wedding countdown!!! We're entering the six month stretch, and I'm getting a little frazzled on the stupid details. Still need to find a band (which Pros says he'll do since he's the former jazz trumpeter), florist, baker, and place to stay for the weekend. Pros' family has also handed over rehearsal dinner decisions to me, which is something I hadn't planned on doing, but we have a tentative reservation anyway. Am I the only bride who hates planning the wedding and just wants to be married already?
   

Grandmother update

Briefly put, it's been a rough week. My grandmother is moving into a nursing home on Friday. She'll have specialized care for Alzheimer patients, and it's across the street from where she is currently living, so she'll have a little familiarity. Grampa is taking this hard, but he knows that he just can't take care of her anymore.

As I was initially writing the first paragraph, I've found that Pros is in an even worse boat. His grandmother has just passed away in hospice care. The funeral is most likely this weekend in West Virginia. This puts me in a major bind, as I had planned to be in Philadelphia to support my family while my Gram goes into her new home. Pros says he would understand if I needed to go there, but I know he needs me to be with him. We're trying to find out if, somehow, we can still swing both family visits.

Needless to say, sleep is not coming to me very well...

Memories and Possessions

Even though I moved here in May, I'm still dealing with a few boxes and things that haven't been touched, mostly because I knew they were mostly full of winter clothes. This morning, I tackled a box in our office, mostly because Pros begged me to clean up in there. Sure enough, there were plenty of skirts and tops for cooler weather, unfortunately mixed in with summer clothing I hadn't been able to find. I shook out the cat hair and dust as I arranged them into piles for hanging, storage and donation to the Salvation Army truck.

In this box were also two petit-pointe (like embroidery) angel wall hangings that had been given to me by my grandmother as well as two sweatshirts she had decorated with my sorority letters when I had first pledged. I had to laugh when I saw the sweatshirts. The letters were far larger than the standard ones worn, and I had initially been very peeved at their appearance. I wore the hot pink sweatshirt with the too-tall letters for our first Bid Day and stood out even more than I would have if I'd kept my bright purple hair, but I don't think I wore them again. Because they have the letters of my sorority, I couldn't throw them in the pile for donation.

Then I thought of how I'd also been upset when I had received the wall hangings. Two angels, in the act of carrying children to Heaven, wouldn't normally be something I would have wanted. They had been in my bedroom when I briefly lived with my grandparents, and I had been told they were made by my grandmother's grandmother. I had asked for them as a wedding gift. Instead, she gave them to me when I graduated from college. At that time, my unmarried state was a source of tension between us. My older cousin had married young and already had two sons, and I was not meant to settle down for another decade. To me, this early gifting was her way of telling me that I'd be a spinster. It took time before I placed these beautiful pieces of art on my wall.

My grandmother is still alive, but she isn't really with us anymore. Right before my 30th birthday, she asked me if my party was also an engagement party. Between our long-standing tension about my marital state and the unwillingness of my then boyfriend to commit, I had exploded and almost uninvited her to the gathering. That was when I found out that she wasn't being cruel, but that she was in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's Disease. Within another year, she admitted that she knew I was a familiar face, but that she could not fathom that I was the adult daughter of her younger son. This week, my grandfather was faced with the painful prospect of placing her in a facility that can care for her now that he cannot.

Alice was a beautiful, vivacious redheaded woman. She was an expert with flowers, especially orchids, and could name any bloom placed before her. Her sense of humor was one that didn't surface often, but would strike out at the most perfectly timed moment. Her light blue eyes would sparkle over family dinners and bridge matches with her friends. She taught me that to truly love someone, "you must hold them with an open hand", even if you're terrified you might lose them.

Gramma, my hands are open, and I know you are slipping away. You'll never know what a wonderful husband-to-be I have found. With luck, he'll understand why I must hang my angels before today is done.

Anti-Bridezilla (I hope)

This weekend, I'm meeting my mother in the town where Pros and I are getting married in June. We're sitting down with the owner of the hall and getting tips on where to start looking for the little details (like a cake). This may be a painful experience, but at least Saturday night is at my favorite B&B I've experienced.

I also know my dear college roomate Cats is going to officiate, which makes everyone involved happy, which makes me incredibly relieved. Having a friend who can perform a wedding while still keeping your wild weekend secrets is a wonderful thing.

Once this weekend is over, it's back to my Work in Progress. I've made several changes to make Jess a middle school teacher, which makes sense now that I'm back in the classroom. It also makes the writing flow a little more smoothly now that I can use time with students as a segue into further plot. Let me know if you want a sneak peek!

Tagged again!

My college roommate cats has tagged me once more!

Here's what i was told to do:
1. Go into your archives.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the 5th sentence (or close to it.)
4. Post that, along with these rules, in your blog.
5. Tag 5 people.

However, cats changed the rules to look at your 5th post (her 23rd was a sermon she preached, most likely very well). Therefore, I checked my 5th post as well. The fourth and fifth sentences are impossible to disconnect from one another:

"Someone needs to protect / guide the class nerds and outcasts. Who better than someone who was driven to a nervous breakdown in 10th grade and then bounced back?"

I had jokingly listed that among my reasons for wanting to be a teacher, but it truly continues to be one of the most serious goals I have in the front of the classroom. Last week, I saw three girls who were straight out of "Mean Girls", right down to the coordinated outfits, torturing each other and the less popular girls in the class. They were in shock when I leaned on them and demanded they sit in different parts of the room until the end of class, so they could do less damage. So what if they were the cheerleaders? Bullying is bullying, and that's what they were doing.

Let's face it, folks, if more teachers and parents put down their collective feet, more students could concentrate on being actual students. The only reason that verbal abuse is so rampant among teens is because those in authority let it continue. This same high school had two physical altercations earlier that week, and everyone from the teacher's aides to three police officers were in there within seconds.

Not that I'm the police, of course. I'm just a former nerd girl who is now in a position to see the signs of "female relational aggression", as sociologists call it (I might post my Linguistics paper on the subject later). Even better, I can act upon what I see and hear in a way that may help these kids avoid permanent damage.

Who better than someone who was driven to a nervous breakdown in 10th grade and then bounced back?