Loss

Sorry, taking a diversion from talking about the wedding to think about how everyone is going bonkers over the five year anniversary of the terrorist attacks in NYC and DC. I've made the decision to work for Pros' mom rather than go into school and sub. There is going to be a lot of lip service and pageantry tomorrow, with several moments of silence and a lot of emotion. It's just not how I want to spend the day.

Pros and I have different feelings on the subject of mourning loss. He thinks noting the anniversary of a bad event is plain stupid. I can see his point. Why bring up a bad feeling on what happens to be a perfect span of time from when it actually happened? Good times, sure, mark them. But why dwell on the bad times?

For me, it's something I do on rare occasions. I mark the anniversary of when Mur died. When I remember, I light a Yartzeit candle. It's a traditional way of marking the death of someone special in our lives. The difference between 9/11 and 12/ 3 (about the day Mur's body was found on a houseboat at St. Johns) is that I had no personal connection to the attacks. I lost nobody. Mur's death was a great loss, one that I feel almost every day. It's felt a little more on the anniversary because I can still hear my own voice, screaming that it just couldn't be true.

It's a middle of the road way of grieving, I guess. We'll see what it'll be like in two weeks. I promised Mama Hyde that I'd take her to the Flight 93 Memorial, since we're meeting back in Somerset at that time.